Treasured Moments between Father and Son

One of my great blessings in life was to fall in love with Alvadell “Abby” Moser 50 years ago this year.  We were blessed to begin our married life together 48 years ago (June 14, 1967), and then to become parents of two children, Bradley and Melinda (Mindy).  Alvadell and I enjoyed many happy years with our children, and this enjoyment has continued since they married and established homes of their own.

Brad and Mindy inherited Grandma's athleticism.

While they were children, it was not unusual for each of us to spend time with either Brad or Mindy separately, one-on-one, in addition to regular family activities.  We played softball, football, Takraw, and other games in the back yard and worked together in the garden.   Because we lived in different parts of the Midwest and eastern seaboard, we were able to visit many scenic wonders and historical sites, but for Brad and Mindy, there was nothing quite as special as visiting their grandparents and cousins.

As Brad and Mindy advanced into adolescence and young adulthood, graduated from college, and matured into their own social relationships leading to career and marriage, our times with them were mostly afforded through family and peer group activities.   One-on-one occasions between son or daughter and parent became fewer for good reasons.  Happily, the relative rarity of our one-on-one’s ended up being even more special.

Some one-on-one's were not as fun
as others; here, potato digging.

Today, I was reminded of a notable one-on-one activity that Brad invited me to share with him one year ago this month.  He invited me to accompany him on a road trip to Cortland, NY and the 2016 Blackbird Film Festival where his “short-short” film, Pride & Poo, had been selected for screening at the festival.

The road trip to and from Cortland afforded us time for extended conversation on a variety of topics of mutual interest.  We talked about Brad’s goals for the upcoming years and how dad was getting along in his retirement years.  We agreed that our views of life have been converging somewhat as the relative difference in our ages continues to narrow.

I especially appreciated Brad’s challenges to me as an older man to stay committed to the spiritual disciplines and values that have sustained me during years past.  As Brad knows, I sometimes display a tendency to look back in time and to “second guess” certain decisions I have made in the past.  He also knows that I have needed wisdom to discern my limits when I try to come alongside family members and friends who are experiencing difficulties in their lives.  It is a great blessing and gift to me as a father from his son to receive from Brad a well balanced measure of respect and challenge to apply godly wisdom in areas where there is risk of my becoming sidelined.

The Blackbird Film Festival itself was an enjoyable experience for me.  The overall program was structured so that film makers and other attendees could choose which film categories and concurrent screening sessions they would attend.  I was quite at home with this format because of its similarity to the many scientific conferences I had attended, except there seemed to never be a dull moment at this festival.   It also became clear to us that the festival had drawn some very good quality short films, documentary shorts, and international shorts. 

Bradley in a Q & A after screening of Pride & Poo

It was a unique highlight for me to share in the elation of the moments during which Brad’s film, Pride & Poo, was shown at the festival.  I knew, mostly from a distance but also from Brad’s invitation to assist in a small amount of the filming, how much time and sweat he had invested to develop expertise as a film maker and then to apply his skill and creativity to bring Pride & Poo to the screen.  The result is an enjoyable four and one-half minutes of viewing that humorously conveys the age-old biblical message that Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18).

As with most screening sessions, the session in which Pride & Poo was featured allowed time afterwards for the respective film makers to field questions.  Again, it was a blessing for me as a dad to observe his son interacting with other film makers, encouraging them, sharing techniques he had learned, and learning some new approaches from them.

A memorable road trip, April, 2016

In all, we were both quite elated and pleased with the Blackbird Film Festival and the opportunity to meet festival organizer Sam Avery and his hard working staff as well as many other film makers.   The trip home seemed to go by in a breeze while we reflected on the experience, remembered many of the films shown, and the privilege of interacting with many of the film makers we were blessed to meet. 

And so, I congratulate you once again, Brad, on your success with Pride & Poo and thank you again for allowing me to share in a film festival experience with you.   I would also thank you, Brad, for the sentiments you shared in your Facebook posting after the trip (April, 2016), as follows:

"Having your film selected as one of 100 selections out of 1538 entries at a great festival:  Very Cool.

Attending the festival and meeting tons of great people:  Awesome.
Having your film nominated for Best Narrative Short:   Exhilarating.
Finding out that your film won the Special Jury Award:  Unbelievable.
Road trip to New York with your Dad:  PRICELESS."

Reflections on Father’s Day

On this Father's Day, I paused to thank my Heavenly Father for His grace and mercy which He first revealed to me through my earthly father, Bert Silvius.

With Dad and Sister, Margie

One of my earliest memories of Dad was singing with him in our little Methodist Church, in Dundee, Ohio.  Dad made a point of sharing the hymnal with me so that I could see the time-honored words of the great hymns of the faith.  As I sang along with Dad the hymn "This Is My Father's World" and observed his big hands, strong and toughened by the toil of farm work, I remember feeling so safe and glad because my world seemed to be held and controlled by his strong hands.

As I grew into elementary age and could work on the farm, I was glad to work alongside my Dad even though it was more fun to play with my sister or my cousins when they were around.  Our family shared the house with my Dad's parents and my Uncle, Glen Silvius.  There were many happy times for me, but there were also times of strife.   You see, farming had its challenges for my Dad. Working in partnership with two brothers and the watchful eye of his own father who had his own ideas, provided many opinions on how things should be done.  Yet I never heard my Dad show disrespect for his brothers or his father. Instead, he worked hard and was usually the one to whom the others came when advice was needed.

Gradually, I came to know that my earthly father was not in control of the world.  There were people and forces much larger than Dad that appeared to control the course of events.  But, through my Dad's example of responsibility and respect, I learned to know that this big, uncertain world actually belongs to the God of Heaven.  And eventually I came to know this God personally as my Heavenly Father.  This process took many years but it came about in an unusual way.

As I grew into my teens, I faced adolescent challenges of relationships both in our family and at school.  I obeyed my parents who challenged me with the help of regular "disciplinary reminders" over the years.  I came to realize my own tendency to be selfish and mean, often to the chagrin of my sister or our farm cats.  Many times, I was sorry for my behavior, and I knew that it disappointed both my parents and the God of Heaven.

Meanwhile, over the years I had grown used to observing Dad both in public and in private.  I watched him in front of our church reading passages from the Bible, or leading in prayer and sharing ideals that seemed wise but so hard for me to attain.   I watched Dad as I worked with him, my cousin, and my uncles on the farm.  Both uncles had "short fuses" and would verbally abuse my Dad when things didn't go the way they wanted it to go.  Yet, as I noted earlier, I never heard my Dad respond in a disrespectful manner.  He was not perfect but I had to admit that the words he read from the Bible and the prayers he prayed in public were consistent with the way he tried to live outside of church during the week. As a result, Dad showed me enough of what God must be like to prepare my heart for the day when I would confess that I too was a struggling sinner who needed God's grace and mercy to deal with my sin nature and to save me from my own selfish tendencies. For that I say “Thank you, Dad.”

I considered Dad well educated and wise even though he voluntarily ended his formal education in his 8^th grade year in order to help his parents on the farm.  Although his formal education stopped, Dad’s love for learning continued throughout his life.  He read every farm magazine and scientific book he could obtain.  His love for mathematics, botany, and chemistry allowed us to converse about my organic chemistry when I was home from college as he milked the cows and I forked manure.  He and Mom not only helped to pay for my college education, but they both shared their love for learning in a contagious way.  Far from being envious of my "higher education” Dad, and my Uncle Glen who had no sons of his own, were my greatest male encouragers.

And so, on this Father's Day, I can truly say, "Thank you, Dad.  I miss you still.  I trust that one day, you will enjoy a reunion with all of us who are counting on God's grace and the promise of Real Life to come.  Although at this time you may not have the ability or the time to do so, I believe you would enjoy seeing your grandchildren and their spouses, and your great-grandchildren.  Being "mechanically minded" has skipped a generation, you know; and, your grandson, Brad, demonstrates the same versatility in both mental and mechanical skills that you had.  Space does not permit me to go into details here but I have recently written about one of his projects, The Little Leaders Company.  Brad was aided by his gifted wife, Raquel, and other family members and friends in the production of several DVD's that are now teaching biblical values to children. Brad has also taught Abby and I much about ourselves and God's goodness.  Just today, he gave me a call for Father's Day today which was a blessing as always. 

Furthermore, you will remember the little blond granddaughter you used to carry around.   Just wait until you see what a lovely woman Melinda Maetta has become.  She's a nurse and nurse supervisor, and you had a part in igniting that interest in her-- one day, she will love to tell you about it.   She also makes a good pastor's wife.  You haven't personally met our son-in-law, Steve,  but  as a young pastor, he now stands before the members of Northpoint Church of the Nazarene and reads from the Bible, preaches, and prays.  God has done a great work in his life and continues to mold and shape him. You will also enjoy Mindy and Steve's son, Caleb, and two daughters, Kiara Maetta and Della Rose Katherine.   And now Mindy and Steve's three children remind me of myself when I sat in church, listening to you read from the Bible and pray—with at least one exception:  they are already ministering through helping with technology (Caleb) and in music (all three). As was my experience, I pray that their love and respect for their earthly parents will grow in such a way that they will come to know, love, and trust their Heavenly Father with their lives.  

I didn't mean to be this "long winded" but would be amiss, Dad, if I didn't mention the greatest person in my life, the Abby that you admired in both words and actions.   She has been the key to anything good that has come from my family and my work by God's grace.

Dad, your work on Earth is finished, but ours continues.  We pray for the grace from God to continue to love Him and to follow His Word and the principles that make for a godly family. Perhaps the prayer you wrote and prayed nearly fifty years ago this year is a fitting way to end this reflection.  Thanks for praying and applying God's principles as my Dad.”

May all of us come to understand that right living alone exalteth a family,

that only in Thy will can peace and harmony abound.

Help us to live together as people who have been forgiven a great debt.

Help us to be gentle, walking softly with one another.
Help us to be understanding, lest we shall add to the world=s sorrow.

Help us to stand for what is right,

Not because it may yield dividends later,

but because it is right now.

Help us to be as anxious that the rights of others shall be recognized

as we are that our own shall be established.

Help us to be eager to forgive as we are to be forgiven.

God help us all to be ministers of mercy
and ambassadors of kindness for Jesus,

In Whose Name we pray, “Our Father Who are in Heaven…”

 Bert Silvius,   April 19, 1964