Heart-wrenching scenarios like this one are becoming more and more common. Parents who want the best for their children are increasingly challenged when their son or daughter struggles with self-concept especially in regard to their biological sex and gender identity. Many times, parents are unaware of the peer pressures their child faces at school. What’s more, school a policy aimed at protecting student privacy can leave parents last to know the extent of their son or daughter’s struggle. The suddenness with which parents are faced with such problems can easily make them impatient, irrational, judgmental, and angry.
In Part 1 of this series, “Learning to Know Ourselves: 1. Identity” [Click HERE.], we defined some of the terminology of gender identity. But we also emphasized that knowledge of the terminology, while necessary, is only the beginning of understanding and helping those who struggle with their gender identity. Knowing the underlying assumptions behind gender identity and transgenderism, and approaching those who struggle with humility and compassion will help us build relationships of understanding. Therefore, we concluded Part 1 by introducing a biblical basis for addressing the challenges of gender identity. We will now expand upon that introduction.
Secular psychology generally defines gender identity based on one’s internal sense of who they are in comparison to current cultural norms that define “male”, “female”, “neither” or “both.” If the person in question “feels, behaves, and dresses” in a gender-nonconforming way as defined by cultural norms, they should be supported by parents, peers, and others if they decide to become transgender. The alternative can be gender dysphoria which manifests itself in a frustration that can lead to isolation, despair, and even suicide.
While we should approach gender confusion in an understanding way, we must not ignore an important question: “Who gets to write the social norms that define ‘male’ and ‘female?’” Secular philosophy believes that anyone questioning their gender identity should have the freedom to decide. Meanwhile, parents, pastors, and counsellors should have only a secondary role if any role at all. But many of us resist this wholesale undermining of parental authority.
According to Judeo-Christian teaching from the Bible, God is our Creator and Sovereign King. He appointed mankind to be stewards of His creation, serving in glad obedience to His benevolent commands. God’s revelation conveys objective truth and it trumps the subjective claims of mankind in all matters, particularly including our sexuality and gender. Both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible affirm God’s view of sex and gender. In the Gospel of Matthew, we read Jesus’s words when he quoted from the Old Testament Book of Genesis 1: 27 and 5: 1-2:
He [God] who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE… (Matthew 19: 4b).
We are humbled when we recognize the challenge we all face beginning from birth-- the challenge of knowing ourselves and discovering our abilities and purpose in this world. In view of the added pressures of our culture, particularly on our children and adolescents to “discover their identity,” mankind’s subjective ideas are no match for situations like that of Grace whom we introduced above. However, because God created us, it makes sense that His Word in the Bible can provide a solid framework within which to interpret knowledge gained through biology, psychology, and theology about our body, soul, and spirit.
Why Should We Trust Our Creator?
Today many regard the Bible as an out-dated book of harsh restrictions from a God who is aloof and uncaring. But the God of the Bible is not only loving, holy, wise, and just—but He is good! He has given His Holy Spirit to be our Helper and Counsellor—no counseling fees attached. Consider the following line of reasoning based on God’s Word:
1) Because God is our Creator and knows all about us, and…
2) …because God is “good,” then…
3) …why shouldn’t we trust Him to lead us on a path to make our lives more fruitful and more likely to fulfill the purpose for which each of us were born?
The disagreement over Grace’s gender identity broke their family apart. Grace had already chosen the path marked out by the subjective gender identity norms of our culture. She had decided to legally change her name and had begun taking testosterone. When Marsha and Ron expressed concern and said they could not call her by her new name and pronouns, Grace cut off all contact with them.
How then can Marsha and Ron find comfort—the kind of comfort we receive when we bring Scriptural truth to bear on the situation in an empathetic and compassionate way? If they want this true comfort for themselves and for Grace, we suggest they begin with the most important pronoun of all.
Beginning with the Pronoun “I”
If we are willing to acknowledge that God should have a say about our choice of pronouns, we should begin with the most important pronoun when it comes to our identity.
“I am.” These two little words have powerful significance when we use them. They are the first two words that come from our mouth when we strike up a conversation with someone that we meet for the first time. The conversation might go like this:
Stranger: “Hello. I am David. What is your name?”
Your response: “Hi, I am ______ (your given name).”
When we wish to express something important in conversation, beginning our sentences with “I am,” is an important clue to our listeners. Here are a few examples:
“I am _John_.”
“I am sorry that I ___.”
“I am going to ______.”
“I am planning to ___.”
“I am in love with ____.”
God’s Name: “I AM”
Speaking of how “I am’s,” signal that important information is coming, many us have thought or said out-loud:
“I am not sure who God is or if He even cares about me?_ Amazingly, God responds to our questions and doubts, by revealing His Name through His holy Word in the Bible as follows:
“I am I AM_.”
Or, “My Name is I AM.”
God made His Name known to Moses when He invited Moses to lead the captive Israelites from bondage in Egypt. In Exodus, chapters 3 and 4, we can read the amazing account of Moses’s first of many conversations with God.
Because God’s personal identity is expressed through His Name, “I AM,” we might say that God’s most intimate and important pronoun is “I.” What’s even more amazing is that our “person-ality” and our identity are inseparably connected to God’s identity. He created us in His image (Genesis 5: 1b-2). Therefore, it is fitting when someone asks us who we are that we acknowledge our linkage to God by our answer, “I am.”
Jonathan Cahn has written eloquently about the intimate relationship between “God’s being” (I AM) and each “human being” (“I am”) created in His image (See sidebars). Cahn writes that our lives “begin with Him (God) and flow forth from Him.” According to Psalm 139, God was present before us, oversaw our development within our mother’s womb, knows all about our lives, and numbers our days.
We invite you to devote some quiet moments to reading, rereading, and meditating (chewing over in your mind) Psalm 139. Then, use the text box below to consider how intimately God knows you personally. Note how David responded to God’s intimate knowledge of him. Why not consider how you ought to respond to God’s intimate knowledge of you and His desire that you know and trust Him?
After reading and meditating on Psalm 139, maybe you cannot relate to David’s response to God. Maybe you find the Person of God distant, uncaring, and judgmental of you. You wonder if God really sees you or even cares where you are. Maybe when you try to imagine a God who reveals Himself as “I AM” -- eternally existent, omnipresent, good, and loving, you fall short because you have never experienced the love and care of a parent or friend. Instead of being drawn to the Great I AM, you have a host of your own “I am’s”:
“I am not interested in knowing God.”
“I am sick and tired of religion.”
“I am turning my back on a God who abandoned me when I needed Him.”
“I am a rejected man/woman, beyond even God’s power to restore me.”
Let’s return to the account of Grace and her parents, Marsha and Ron. It wasn’t long before Grace underwent a double mastectomy and legally changed her name to “Hardin.” She now allows only limited contact with her parents, even as Ron battles cancer. Her parents and her sister Emily are heartbroken, but they have turned to God and to supportive members of their church. Through this trial, they are finding Peace and Joy as God promises (James 1: 2-8).
Ron, Marsha, and Emily are beginning to realize it is Grace’s choice to ignore and reject God. They also understand that it is wrong to simply accept the blame for their daughter’s choices. There are many factors at work to influence human decisions and behavior. All they know for sure is that God loves Grace, and He loves them. According to John 3: 16, God loves the world so much that He gave His unique, eternal Son, Jesus Christ so that whoever believes in Him should not perish (be forever separated from the presence of God) but have everlasting life. God so much wants us to know Him that He came in the flesh as Jesus Christ.
While on Earth, Jesus repeatedly used the same two words that represent His Father’s Name --“I AM.” Each of His “I AM’s” reveal something of God’s identity, and are meant to help us realize our identity in Christ. Consider each of the “I AM’s” spoken by Jesus as listed in the adjacent illustration. What better way to realize our identity, including our gender identity, than to humbly turn our lives over to the God who created mankind and knows our deepest needs?
God is not willing that any should fall short of His plan and purpose for us or to perish without knowing Him personally (Matthew 8: 14; John 3: 16). Through Jesus’s perfect Life, the God of Heaven showed us His character and virtues. God also provides a way for us to kneel before His throne to confess our sins and to turn from them in repentance and firm resolve (1 John 1: 8-10). In turn, God forgives and cleanses us from sin by the shed blood Jesus gave when He died on His cross for us (Romans 6: 23; 2 Corinthians 5: 17-21; Titus 3: 5).
As you have read this blog and the account of Grace and her family’s struggle, maybe your heart goes out to all of them. You may ask how anyone can resist God’s love, His offer of Eternal Life in Heaven, and a fruitful life while we live on Earth. But there are two things we must remember.
Second, we have an Enemy, named Satan who is a liar, murderer and ,deceiver as Jesus described in John 8: 42-47. Satan tempts us to exert what our flesh already wants – “I am first, etc. Someone has said, “Satan knows our name but calls us by our sin; Jesus knows our sin, died in our place, and calls us by our name to come unto Him.” Satan is now at work as “the god of this world” to place a veil over our hearts and minds so that we are blinded and cannot “see the light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God (2 Corinthians 4: 3-4).” Satan does not want us to know God or His loving message of the Gospel to us. But still, God’s Spirit uses the Gospel to open our eyes to our true identity in Christ—created in God’s image, male and female; and unconfused as to our purpose, gender identity, and great value in God’s eyes.
We may never know how the life of “Hardin” will end. Will she respond to God’s love and grace, and rediscover the Grace and identity of the person she was created to be? Or will “Hardin” end up like so many who are suffering the consequences of hormonal and/or surgical alterations of their bodies.
Subscribers (free) to our monthly Oikonomia e-mail package will receive links to personal accounts and examples of how transgender males and females have found God’s grace, forgiveness, and wholeness. Here we offer two examples, one taken from the Bible account of Mary Magdalene when she encountered Jesus, and one from a true-story account of how an adolescent realized her identity in Christ as portrayed in a movie:
“Mary, I have called you by name; I have redeemed you. You are mine.” Watch video HERE.
• Hannah finds her identity when she turns to the One who created her. Hannah wrote on paper (see movie poster above):
“I am Chosen! I am Blessed! I am Loved!” Movie : Overcomer. Watch trailer HERE.
May We Ask You?
When you think of your own personal identity and how it has been shaped, and continues to be shaped, what thoughts come to mind? Maybe you would like to share your response or a question from your reading of this blog via the “Comment” link below. You may choose to respond privately via our e-mail: silviusj@gmail.com.
In order to learn more about how you can realize your true identity through a personal relationship with Christ, click HERE to read “Steps to Peace with God,” a Gospel presentation from the Billy Graham Association. Let us know if we can help via our e-mail: silviusj@gmail.com.
Helpful Resources on Gender Identity:
1. “Training Our Kids in a Culture That Affirms Transgenderism.” Denny Burk,
PhD, professor of biblical studies at Boyce College, Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary. His Blog is HERE.
2. The Nashville Statement is a “declaration of biblical truth and moral conviction
on human sexuality and identity.” Go HERE.
3. Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention.
Go HERE.
4. The Person and Identity Project offers formation, workshops, and pastoral
guidance on gender identity and the dignity of the human person from a
Catholic perspective:
Video Introduction -- Go HERE.
Introduction to Resources Provided -- Go HERE.
Resources for Detransitioners -- Go HERE.
5. “Reflections at Age Seventy-Five,” Oikonomia, May 9, 2022 Go HERE
to read a personal account of how our worldview and personal identity are
shaped by biology, family, faith, etc.
6. “Where Does the Power Come From? - Part 2,” Oikonomia, Sept. 20, 2019
Go HERE to read how regular study of God’s Word with the aid of His Spirit
affirms God’s love and plan for us and transforms us more into the image of
Christ.
Footnotes:
1 The account of Marsha, Ron, and Grace, with names changed for confidentiality, is based on an actual account reported in “Keeping the Faith,” by Leigh Jones, October 5, 2023 WORLD Magazine. Go HERE to read.
2 “Training Our Kids in a Culture That Affirms Transgenderism.” Denny Burk, Crossway website. August 03, 2019. Go HERE to read.
3 Jonathan Cahn, The Book of Mysteries. FrontLine, 2016. Lake Mary, FL. Our emphasis added to quotes.
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