Brokenness to Boldness: A Tribute

In 2022, if we live to celebrate our birthdays, both Abby and I will mark the three-quarter-century point in our lives.  We have been married for more than two-thirds of our lives.  During this time, through both joys and trials, we have grown in love and appreciation for each other, thanks to God’s grace, the enduring love of our family, and the friendships we have with others.

In this blog, we want to highlight one of the friendships that has been very special to us for the past 45 years. This particular friend’s life story is not unique, but it reminds us of the life of the Apostle Paul who lived over 2,000 years ago.  Although these two men are separated by millennia of time, both were transformed through crisis which opened their hearts within finite time to receive the Eternal Joy of Heaven, God’s Spirit.

Both our friend and “St. Paul” we're very accomplished men, committed to excellence in their respective fields.  But when crisis came and led them to brokenness, both our friend and Paul were humbled enough to turn to God and receive “spiritual eyes” of faith.  As a result, they repented and reordered their lives with God’s help through His Word.  Before sharing the story of our friend, let’s consider the early life of the Apostle Paul.

Apostle Paul:  Crisis to Conversion
According to Paul’s account of his early life, he was born a Jew and named Saul of Tarsus (Philippians 3).  Saul became a highly educated Jewish leader, a Pharisee steeped in religion.   Upon hearing of a newly emerging cult known as “The Way” (Acts 9:2; 22:4), founded upon the Good News of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, Saul used his authority to harass and jail members of The Way, known as “Christians.”

According to Acts 6, Saul eventually participated in stoning to death a prominent Christian named Stephen because of His faith.  On that fateful day, Saul heard Stephen’s powerful testimony of faith in Christ (Acts 7).  Then, he held the garments of others while they hurled stones at Stephen, leading to his death as the first Christian martyr.  The last words Saul and the others would have heard from Stephen was, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!”   Saul’s experience of Stephen’s martyrdom left an indelible imprint on his mind (Acts 22: 20) and set the stage for a major crisis in his life.

Not long after the stoning of Stephen, while Saul was on the road to Damascus with warrants for the arrest of more Christ-followers, he was blinded by an extremely bright light (Acts 9: 3).  Here, Saul encountered the Risen Christ whom he realized he had been persecuting (Acts 9: 4-18).  During this encounter, Saul became blind and yielded his life to Christ who called him in the power of the Spirit into a new life of service as the Apostle Paul.  Paul’s powerful testimony of his conversion to Christianity is recorded in Acts 22: 4-21 and 26: 11-32.

In the two millennia since the Apostle Paul’s conversion and his “missionary journeys” to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ into Asia and Europe, millions of people around the world have surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ.  Like Paul, many came to Christ during a crisis of awareness that led them to turn in faith to God.  Our friend’s life is a testimony of one such conversion.

Our Happy Reunion
Recently, Abby and I were privileged to visit the home of our friend in Maryland, where we spent parts of two days with him, his wife, and their two daughters.  We have chosen not to reveal their names, considering that our friend would prefer that God receive all the glory from what you are about to read.  What follows is a brief biographical sketch of his life, followed by some memorable points from our conversation.

When Abby and I arrived at our friend and family’s home in Bowie, MD, their younger daughter welcomed us and we enjoyed several blessed hours of conversation with the family, friends, and their aid who lovingly joined in like a member of the family.  We had not been together with my friend and his wife since 2015, and had not seen the daughters since the 1980’s when our family moved from Bowie to Cedarville, OH.  Between times, except for occasional visits, we had maintained our friendship through letters, phone, and internet.  So, this was a blessed reunion.

After some light-hearted catching-up, our friend focused his conversation with me on two of his principal reasons for meaning and purpose in his life.  First, is his wife and beloved helpmate of 61 years; and their two daughters, each accomplished in their careers and each of whom he is very proud.  The love we observed between our friend and his wife, and between them and their daughters was very God-honoring.

Second, our friend places great value on the lives of the unborn and others who are helpless to defend themselves.  So, he has been very active as a volunteer in the Maryland Right to Life (MDRTL) organization.  His background as a physicist with NASA has honed his organizational and computer networking skills, and he has devoted tireless hours to spreading the Pro-Life message through meetings and internet connections.  We discussed the MDRTL 2021 Maryland General Assembly “Legislative Wrap-Up” which highlights the efforts and successes of the MDRTL in influencing pro-life policy through the 441st session of the Assembly.  Out of 53 bills that posed a threat to human life, MDRTL was successful in helping to defeat 30 of them!  [For more detailed information on the progress of MDRTL, go HERE.]

Our Friend’s Crisis to Conversion
The following morning, our friend greeted us with a very unselfish statement. He said that he had been speaking with the Lord earlier that morning and realized that he should want Abby and I to enjoy our time and our trip.  So, he had decided not to dominate our time and conversation for the morning.  His words clearly revealed an answer to our prayers, and the prayers of our family and our friends in Wooster.  While we expected and wanted our conversation to include our interests and passions for good causes such as sanctity of human life, we also wanted to talk about the challenges in our personal lives.  Indeed, we had chosen to visit because both our friend and his wife had reached their 90’s this year and were now experiencing deteriorating health.

Our conversation became very spiritual when our friend confided that every morning, he battles against spiritual attacks against his own self-worth.  The attack focuses on his past neglect of his family, especially his sister Leah who had once lived with them. Because of his busy career as a physicist with NASA, he spent long hours at his office, consumed by the fact that a large number of Ph.D. scientists were depending on his expertise.  In the early 1970’s, Leah died suddenly, and our friend blamed himself.  To use his words, "God blew up my life.”  Then, through many difficult years, God showed me that I could not put my life back together again without turning to Him."  His emotional breakdown caused him to leave NASA and enter several decades of spiritual and emotional rehabilitation.

Then, our friend opened up very specifically to discuss how he reacted to his sister's death. Although he blames himself for not being there for her, he has not sensed others blaming him. Our conversation led to my own assertion of how much we need God in times like that.  I shared the words of Jesus from John 14: 1:  "Do not let your hearts be troubled...."  We discussed how we can choose not to let our hearts be troubled.   In John 14: 2-6, we read how Jesus has gone before us to provide a way.  Like Thomas (v. 5), when we are lost and don't know the way, we can turn to Jesus for comfort—i.e. using God’s truth to fortify our faith.  In fact, Jesus said, " I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me."   Jesus is the Good Shepherd (John 10), the fulfillment of what David described so beautifully in Psalm 23, “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want….”

Our friend’s response to these Scriptures was very reflective and convicting. He said, “For many years, I treated God as if he were nothing, and worthless.  When my sister died, it was as if God had exploded my life into many pieces.  I couldn’t cope with it by myself.  Just when I thought all was hopeless, God came into my life and helped me find meaning and purpose again.  Now, in my spiritual battles, I claim the power of God’s Holy Spirit and the cleansing blood that Jesus shed on His cross for me.”  Then, our friend added that putting his life back together has been a long and difficult process.

This past June, on his 90^th birthday, our friend had written in an e-mail message, “I enjoyed our [recent] phone conversation. Thank you.  Being valued by God-sent people like you and Abby heals and comforts my injured spirit more than I can easily say… God does fill in the gaps of missing formation of the soul.” 

God’s “Kingdom Engineers”
Jesus taught His followers to approach our Father in reverent prayer.   He said, Pray then, in this way:
Our Father who is in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.

Our friend’s spiritual healing coincides with his vision of using his God-given ability as a scientist and computer programmer to “bring the harmony of God’s Kingdom to Earth.”  By this, he means to serve as a “Kingdom Engineer” on behalf of the Pro-Life movement.  In this role, I see our friend as a steward of both his scientific expertise and God’s love, mercy, and grace.  Our friend elaborates on his perceived role: 

“There is so much Design in nature that it seems to many people that there IS a system designer, a loving God.  I believe that we Christians are on Earth to work to reveal that Harmony to Mankind.  In my opinion, anyone who works to further the purposes of God’s Kingdom on Earth using system science could be called a “Kingdom Engineer.”

To apply his passion for protection of the unborn, our friend has used the internet to stir up, in his words, “a God-centered Voice of the People to be heard by elected lawmakers at all levels of government.  Resources that, when connected can accomplish that Voice are as follows:
1) God’s Word
2) an unmistakable spiritual calling to lift up the helpless
3) guidance from inspired clergy
4) boots on the ground (faith-centered people) to accomplish that calling
5) the internet to provide united (hence effective) action by faith-centered people
6) a government that responds to the voice of the people.

For many years, our friend has been motivated by his love for God and by his passion to promote the “God-centered Voice of the People” on behalf of human life through internet contacts with grass-roots groups. 

Admittedly, I once questioned our friend’s theology and motivation, given that it is easy for us to fall into earning merit in the eyes of God by performing “works of righteousness.”  However, I believe our friend understands that, in the words of Titus 3: 5 (emphasis mine), God saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we did in righteousness, but in accordance with His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit.  In an e-mail in which our friend sent on Christmas, 2017, he included this paraphrase of Acts 10: 43: "Of Him [Jesus] all the prophets bear witness that through His Name everyone who believes in Him [whoever trusts in and relies on Him, accepting Him as Savior and Messiah] receives forgiveness of sins.” Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved (Acts 4: 12).

Naturally, our friend would shy away from any comparison of himself with the Apostle Paul even though it is evident that both men came to faith in Jesus Christ through crisis and conversion.  Yet although Paul’s life sets a pretty high standard for any of us to match, all who are “born again” in Christ have access to the same power that Paul relied upon.  Therefore, I believe that both my friend and I can relate to Paul’s testimony and pray that God will help us live with the same passion for Christ that empowered this Apostle who wrote:

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus (Philippians 3: 7-12).

Eternal Joy Invaded Time
When Christians meaningfully celebrate Christmas and Easter, these “holy-days” are like a set of bookends around the earthly Life and Mission of God’s Messiah, Jesus Christ.  At Christmas, we remember the Eternal God becoming incarnate, conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary into finite time.  For a relatively brief time, Jesus showed us by Word and example the love, mercy, and righteousness of His Father, the Almighty God.  Then, as Easter reminds us, Jesus willingly surrendered His Life as a holy sacrifice for sin for all who would surrender their prideful self-righteousness and accept by faith His righteous Gift of salvation.  The Apostle Paul wrote that Jesus died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures (1 Corinthians 15: 3-4).  As our friend has said, “God has paid the price of the ticket to heaven, why not accept it and be ready to go?”

God’s Gift of His Son for our sins, bookended by Christmas and Easter, represents a period in which God’s Eternal Joy invaded time in bodily form.  As Abby and I made our way over the Appalachian Mountains and back to Wooster, we rehearsed our experiences of the loving friendships we had renewed there in a cozy cape cod home in Bowie, MD.  The reality of our ages and the health considerations of our friend and his wife caused us to cherish the relatively few hours we had been together.  Our conversations, so intimate and forthright, were focused on eternal values.  It truly seemed that God blessed our sweet fellowship, our sharing of Scriptures, and our prayers together with His very presence.  Indeed, for those moments together with our friends, once again we sensed that “Eternal Joy Entered Time.”

How About You?
We have shared how two men’s lives were changed through crisis, leading them to respond to God’s eternal truth and grace.  Stories like these can inspire us to be better human beings or simply to face our daily grind.  But the lives show us that God calls us to receive something more!  More than “toughing it out in trials” or simply trying “to be a better person.”  Thankfully, God meets us in our trials and invites us to allow our lives to be transformed into His image and plan.

If you would like to know more about the Life transformed and filled by God’s Holy Spirit, please check out this booklet online, entitled “Have You Made the Wonderful Discovery of the Spirit-filled Life?” [See online booklet HERE.] This helpful booklet explains how you can yield the "throne" of your life to God and find peace with Him as your Father in Heaven.  Through God's Spirit dwelling in you, you can learn to see the world and your life priorities from God's perspective.   If you have additional questions, comments, or would like to share your story, We’d love to hear from you.  Just post a “Comment” below or e-mail me at silviusj@gmail.edu