A Tribute to Our Best Man

Yesterday, Abby and I attended a military funeral service and private memorial service in honor of our dear friend, Roger Riffle.  Roger and his wife, Margaret, would have marked their 52^nd wedding anniversary just two days after Roger went home to heaven, on August 12.  Roger and Margaret had both fulfilled their careers so well, he as an R&D chemist, and she as an elementary school teacher.  Together, Roger and Margaret (“Maggie”) left an everlasting mark on a “family” of countless students, colleagues, and friends, some of whom we were able to meet yesterday as we remembered Roger’s life.

As I had recounted in a 2013 Oikonomia article, Stewardship of Enduring Friendships, Roger and I became friends when we were undergrads at Malone College (now Malone University).  Because Roger was a few years older and wiser than I, his maturity and commitment to getting serious about cracking the books was just what I needed to establish a good academic commitment.  As our college careers progressed, we were each blessed to meet and cultivate a relationship with the respective women we would eventually marry; Roger with Margaret J. Lanham, and I with Alvadell “Abby” Moser.  Eventually, we exchanged the privilege of being one another’s best man on our respective wedding days.  Roger and Margaret were married one year prior to Abby and I. 

Although marriage and our respective professional careers would take its toll on maintaining our friendship, one academic area that Roger and I shared in common was botany.  Our common interest in plants continued to be a link that maintained our friendship from a distance over the years.  I was blessed to hear of Roger’s travels, sometimes with Maggie, across eastern North America to study the plant genus, Trillium.  On several occasions, Abby and I were able to visit Roger and Maggie at their home and to see some of Roger’s live plantings of Trilliums, some of which he had transplanted from far-away places.

Then, when Abby and I retired and moved to Wooster, in 2012, Roger and Margaret visited us.  With a grin of satisfaction and glee, Roger handed me a beautiful Yellow Trillium, Trillium luteum.  For the past eight years, we have enjoyed the Spring booms of this perennial wildflower in our flower garden.

The Riffle’s enjoyed wonderful travel vacations together, experiencing the mountains, plains, shores, and forests of God’s creation.   They also enjoyed two lovely places in the Canton, Ohio area which they have called home.  Roger devoted many hours to developing and maintaining a beautiful botanical landscape at their home in North Canton, OH.  Roger and Maggie have loved spending time together there.  In one communication to me, I could sense Roger’s love for the beauty of creation and of God our Creator:

In the fall, sitting on the deck and patio we could simply “drink in Gods Blessings” when we saw the magnificent colors of the maples against a blue sky and the green 80 ft. spruces. It was simply beautiful and you knew that only a loving God could create such as these.  Alas, [if these are cut down] we will have to see His beauty in other people and ways.  Have a great day my friend and that goes for Abby as well, but you knew that anyway (July 20, 2005).

At some point around 2010, it became evident to Margaret that Roger was expressing symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease.  But they continued to make the best of their lives for most of the next decade.  As Roger’s mind became more clouded, Margaret made adjustments to maintain their routines in the best way possible.  For example, she scheduled each week a day for Roger to visit “The Caring Place” where he could apply his love of working with plants while being among others who needed special love and care.  When the disease made Roger question her loving intentions, Margaret gave her best efforts and loved him until death claimed his live on August 12, 2020.

Just two days before Roger’s death, I wrote the following in a letter to Roger and Margaret:
Abby and I are thinking of you today. We are sitting on our deck and we can see our Yellow Trilliums which you gave us a few years ago.  Roger, I remember when you and Maggie brought them to our house here in Wooster soon after we moved here from Cedarville. I know you have enjoyed all kinds of Trilliums, Roger.  And you and Meggie have many different species growing around your house.  Our Yellow Trilliums have finished blooming.  Their leaves are withering.

As you know, Trilliums look best when they are young and blooming in the Spring. They grow up, have beautiful blooms, set seed for another year, and then wither back to the ground for winter. It is kind of sad, except for one thing.  We know that what goes into the ground will rise up again.

God has a plan for us, too, just like He has for the Trilliums—a plan with a future.  All of us who trust in Jesus as our Savior can be with Him forever.  In the "Spring" of our lives, we grow and Blossom, and we have many opportunities to learn, to become productive in our work, to enjoy family and friendships, to worship and draw closer to God, and to travel to interesting places. All of these we have been able to do. Some of them you, Maggie, Abby, and I have enjoyed together as friends.

Do you may remember that backward farm boy who became "Festus," your friend in college and then your best man 52 years ago in your wedding.  As your best man, that was my first time to wear a tuxedo, but I came through when it was time to hand you the ring, and you put it on the correct finger of the lady named Margaret, also known as Maggie, or to you personally as "Chicken Little." Of course, you were also my best man when I married Abby 51 years ago.  I think we both married very well.

During the 50 plus years since our weddings, like the Trillium, our above-ground parts have gotten older and weaker. But God who made us to live forever has provided a way for us to do just that--live forever, and with Him in heaven!  We can put our faith in Jesus who came from Heaven, put aside His deity enough to become a man to love us, teach us, and died for us. Like the Trillium, Jesus went into the ground and after 3 days He rose again to New Life. We can rise again as well if we trust in him. Then we can say with the psalmist David, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalm 23: 4-6).

Our thoughts and our prayers are with you as you and Maggie continue to look to the Good Shepherd for his love and strength. Meanwhile, I wonder if you and I can get on the crew that cares for the Trilliums on the New Earth.  What do you think, Roger?

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. – Rev. 21: 1-2

One day after this letter was written, Abby and I visited the Riffle’s on what would be the last time to be with Roger on this Earth.  Roger was largely unresponsive, but opened his eyes on several occasions which allowed Abby and I to express our love and friendship with him.  Then, I read Psalm 23 which seemed to hold his attention.  It was familiar to Roger, having been rooted into his soul and his faith.  But when I reached the last phrase of Psalm 23, And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever, Roger’s eyes brightened as if he was getting a glimpse of heaven.  Within less than 12 hours, Roger would indeed be seeing the landscape of Heaven—finally home, and finally set free from his debilitating disease.  Free at last!

In a letter Roger wrote to me, in 2007, after he learned that Abby and I had made a trip to Washington state, he reveals his anticipation of a time when he and I can sit down and enjoy things of common interest:

“I hope to go to [British Columbia] someday to see the tiny little trillium (Trillium Hibbersoni) which grows out on the rock ledges facing the west. There are some very different Trillium's in Oregon and Northern California.  Maybe one day we can sit down and view the many different ones Margaret and I have seen in California and Oregon.”

I am looking forward to taking Roger up on that offer – in the New Heaven and New Earth.