Regrets and Resolutions

The arrival of another year’s end and the New Year holiday is an important transition in time.  The Romans worshiped Janus as the god of beginnings and transitions.  Janus, from whom we get the name of the first month of each year, was depicted with two faces, one looking backward, the other looking forward.   

The image of Janus represents me today.  I’m thinking about the past and wondering about the future.  My natural tendency to look backward with regrets, and to look forward with a combination of doubt, fear, and determination to “do better.”  But today, I’m seeking a clearer understanding of how to “look both directions” in an emotionally and spiritually healthy way.  First off, I’m especially concerned about regrets from the past.

Last Sunday, our senior pastor, Zach Swift, in his message, "Immeasurably More," cited an interesting study.  A large chalk board was placed in lower Manhattan’s Petrosino Square with an invitation to passersby to “Write Your Biggest Regret.”  A camera was positioned to make a video recording of the interesting responses.  As you can see from the video, most respondents expressed various regrets including:
        Not getting involved
        Not being a better friend
        Never going after my dreams
        Not saying “I love you.”
        Not making the most of every day
        Not staying in touch
        All the self-hatred I put myself through

For every publicly admissible regret like these, there are dozens we tend to keep to ourselves.  Regrets emerge within us when we look backward into the silence of time gone by.

How do we dispel the regret, loneliness, helplessness, self-loathing, and even despair that erupt in our sad memories?  As time-bound humans, we are no match for the accusing voices from our past or the uncertain future that looms ahead.  Yet, it is during our low points that we must face a fundamental question: “Is there really a God who loves us and has shown His love and plan of redemption from our sins through His Gift of Jesus Christ?”  Each of us have already answered this question, if not by deliberate faith response, at least by the way we think and live.  Either we have believed in God and are learning to put our trust in Him, or we have rejected Him out of disbelief and have placed ourselves on the throne of our lives.  If we have “enthroned ourselves” as “god,” we are “on our own” in a stark, physical world governed by chance encounters and purposeless outcomes?  At one time, I experienced this reality.

King Solomon is noted for his outstanding wisdom (1 Kings 4: 30-34).  But later in life, Solomon fell into despair when he failed to find meaning and purpose in any of his wealth, pursuits, and pleasures “under the sun” (apart from a God-centered worldview).  He repeatedly cried, Vanity of vanities, all is vanity (Ecclesiastes 12: 8)!  However, when Solomon viewed time and eternity from God’s point of view, he wrote, Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end (Ecclesiastes 3: 11).

The Eternal God has created us to live in a time-bound world but He has also enabled us to imagine eternity.  At Christmas, many celebrate God becoming incarnate man in the bodily form of Jesus Christ.  God became man and stepped from Eternity into our finite world of time.  According to the Bible, our only hope against sin and regrets of the past is to accept Christ, God’s Gift of salvation from sin and death.  Then, we can develop a personal relationship with Christ through daily communion with Him by prayer and reading His Word, the Bible. 

When I abide in Christ (obey His commands for my good; John 15: 1-10), I can look backward and face my “chalk board of regrets.” Then, I can take each regret to God through a humble prayer of repentance where sin was involved (1 John 1: 9; Romans 7: 14-25).  Christ can also give me the humility, grace, and power to go to a person I have offended (Matthew 5: 23-26) or to a person who has offended me (Matthew 18: 15-17) to seek or give forgiveness and become reconciled.  Christ can also help me to forget my failings or turn them into lessons for victory in the future.  In these ways, as I appropriate the provisions of my loving Heavenly Father, my chalk board of past regrets can become a “clean slate.”

Returning to my “Janus” metaphor, when my backward-looking face (and my heart) sees real progress and victory over regret from my past, my forward-looking face (and heart) is encouraged.  With God as my strength and guide, I am encouraged to press on with purpose and courage. 

The Apostle Paul’s life is a testimony of how we can deal with past regrets and make resolutions for a victorious future.  In Philippians 3: 4-6, Paul “looks backward” and reveals his legalistic past as a Pharisee of the Jewish faith which included zealous persecution and imprisonment of Christians.  Then, in verses 7-11, Paul boldly contrasts the reputation he had treasured in his old life with the greater treasure of knowing Christ and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death….  In case his readers would think that he had arrived at perfection, Paul hastens to say (v. 12), Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.

From my study of Paul’s experience, humility, and balance, I find real encouragement to look back into 2019 at my regrets, to repent of my sin, and seek reconciliation where necessary.  Then, I can look ahead into 2020 with particular resolutions, or better yet, spiritual goals.  I have written out my spiritual goals on a file card as a ready reminder, and I share them here in case you may benefit from them.  Please realize that I share them very much in the spirit of Paul expressed in Philippians 3: 12 above.  

If you think I am overdoing it, “overly spiritual,” or in any way high-minded, just realize that the more I become aware of my own bent toward sin and rejection of God’s rule in my life, the more I find the need to be “filled with His Spirit” (Ephesians 5: 15-21) and deliberate about feeding on God’s Word (Psalm 119: 9-12).  May you too, find joy, inspiration, and a real sense that God is abiding in you and using you through the power of His Spirit as you abide in His Word, commune with Him, and fellowship with God’s people in 2020.

How About You?  If you have never surrendered to the claims of Christ and asked Him to forgive you and be your Savior, I refer you to Steps to Peace with God which will explain how you can become a Christ-follower.  Without Christ, you are dead in sin and are facing eternal separation from God.  Romans 8: 6-7 states that without making peace with God, you remain hostile toward God [and your mind is not "tuned" to the Spirit of God].  In fact, according to Romans 8: 7-8, you are not even able to do so... With Christ on the thone of your life, and the hunger He can give you for His Word and fellowship with His Spirit, you can gain a new and clear perspective on your past (triumphs and regrets) and set fruitful spiritual goals for your future.  If you have questions, I'd be glad to communicate with you.  Just post a “Comment” below or e-mail me at silviusj@cedarville.edu